Thursday was my only full day off last week. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was swanning around the house in a towel, drinking OJ out of the carton (because I can when no one is looking), when the doorbell rang.
I quickly chucked on my PJ's.
There was this smartly dressed woman with a little girl behind her, and she proceeded to question me mercilessly. There were absolutely no spaces between questions.
"Why am I home in my pyjamas in the middle of the day? Do I understand Japanese? Am I married? Are there any children living here? Why do I have a towel on my head? Do I actually work? Where is my husband at this time? What is his job and when will he be home?
What are we all doing on Sunday the week after next? What classes are the kids in and what are their names?"
You would think it was the cops, or some evil cow from immigration, right?
Nah, she is from the local parents group, looking to get all the parents in the area, to come to the park to have an "educational seminar" for the DANGERS OF GAIJIN* TO CHILDREN IN THE KODAIRA COMMUNITY".
Do you think any of the Gods will punish me for what I told her?
I said "yes, I understand Japanese, and yes I do happen to be employed, thanks" Then she wanted to know the EXACT DETAILS of my current employment, and stated again that she didn't know why I was home in the middle of the day, if the kids were at school (!!?) I told her I was home, with a terribly high fever, and I was quarantined today by an illness. My Mr. had to take the morning off to take the kids to school and my kids names were Tiger and Ryu (not true, any of it) . My husband works in "entertainment" (and I made this sound vague and threatening, like he does security for the Yakuza) I then said I would have his "people" look at her note (while she was writing she says "oh you probably can't read or write, I will just jot down the details here for you, some one can tell you what it says") and we might "all" attend this little rally in the park. God, I wish I still had a tattoo I could have shown her, to make her just a tiny bit more uncomfortable. Christ, I wish I was imaginative enough to make this shit up. Jebus, I hate living in Kodaira. I swear there is lead in the bloody water here.
* Gaijin is Japanese for Outsider or Foreigner. It's not a very nice word.
I quickly chucked on my PJ's.
There was this smartly dressed woman with a little girl behind her, and she proceeded to question me mercilessly. There were absolutely no spaces between questions.
"Why am I home in my pyjamas in the middle of the day? Do I understand Japanese? Am I married? Are there any children living here? Why do I have a towel on my head? Do I actually work? Where is my husband at this time? What is his job and when will he be home?
What are we all doing on Sunday the week after next? What classes are the kids in and what are their names?"
You would think it was the cops, or some evil cow from immigration, right?
Nah, she is from the local parents group, looking to get all the parents in the area, to come to the park to have an "educational seminar" for the DANGERS OF GAIJIN* TO CHILDREN IN THE KODAIRA COMMUNITY".
Do you think any of the Gods will punish me for what I told her?
I said "yes, I understand Japanese, and yes I do happen to be employed, thanks" Then she wanted to know the EXACT DETAILS of my current employment, and stated again that she didn't know why I was home in the middle of the day, if the kids were at school (!!?) I told her I was home, with a terribly high fever, and I was quarantined today by an illness. My Mr. had to take the morning off to take the kids to school and my kids names were Tiger and Ryu (not true, any of it) . My husband works in "entertainment" (and I made this sound vague and threatening, like he does security for the Yakuza) I then said I would have his "people" look at her note (while she was writing she says "oh you probably can't read or write, I will just jot down the details here for you, some one can tell you what it says") and we might "all" attend this little rally in the park. God, I wish I still had a tattoo I could have shown her, to make her just a tiny bit more uncomfortable. Christ, I wish I was imaginative enough to make this shit up. Jebus, I hate living in Kodaira. I swear there is lead in the bloody water here.
* Gaijin is Japanese for Outsider or Foreigner. It's not a very nice word.
No comments:
Post a Comment